Hello, Lovelies!
When I started this blog, it was meant to be a comedic outlet, a documentation of raising a few kids... But then it took a turn. Life changed. The dark side got darker. I started to write things that were depressing because they were weighing hevily on my mind and then eventually stopped writing all together because I just couldn't even bring myself to type a few words.
Well, I've made changes. Hopefully the future will be brighter. I'm sure there will be repercussions of my decisions; there always are regardless if those decisions are good or bad. I made the choice to me a single mother again, well, it was made for me, but that's really not the point. The point is that's where I am at.
My older kids are 14 and 17, so being a single mother to a couple of adolescents in my 20's and early 30's is way different than starting over at 35 with a 21 mo old. Sometimes it's way better because I'm more relaxed and experienced, other times it's just exhausting because I feel old.
I don't know where the future is going to take all of us, but I'm a little excited. Once again, my life is a blank canvas I can do anything with. Well, almost anything. I probably won't be a Victoria's Secret model or an Astronaut, but who knows? Maybe one day the space program will resume and want to put women with real bodies in some VS undies and ship us to Uranus. There's always hope!
Thanks for sticking with me, even when I wasn't funny. Even when I didn't post. thanks for your comments of support. They meant the world even when you didn't know it.
Love you guys! Look forward to bringing the funneh back...
Soooo tired.
Kids will suck the life out of you. No, seriously. They do. It's a medically proven fact. Everytime you birth one of these little adorable parasites your body changes. Let me first clarify that I ADORE my little parasites... But the after effects, not so much.
Since I had Bugga, I've been sluggish. losing hair and of course, my mind. Him is just the cutest and cuddliest little critter, but man did he take his toll on me. Apparently to produce that much cute is an exhausting effort. No wonder there aren;t more cute kids... moms just aren't up to it.
"So... on a scale of 1 to diabetic shock, how cute do you want your kid to be? Keep in mind that the cuter the baby, the longer the effects on your body..."
"I'll settle for a 5...wait, no. A 7."
You're welcome, Ugga Bugga. Your momma said let's put it at 11.
I have days lately where I want to set fire to everyone around me and put them out with a fork. The only person I don't snap at is Ugg Bugg. He's just to freaking cute. The little jerk KNOWS when I am nearing the edge and instinctively does something adorable. He will randomly break out into Gangnam Style singing the only parts he knows: "AAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY....... uh, uh, uh, uh...."
But I wanted to just share with you a few adorable things he does that makes whatever I am going through health wise worth it. The kid is hysterical.
Here's a visual:
Well, kinda. Gotta clicky this linky
Yesterday a good friend stopped by with is sister. Uggs likes to run around the house giving coy smiles and pretending how shy he is. I mean seriously coy... like hide my face and peek out with a dazzling smile coy. So my friend looks at the dog's crate and says "Why don't you just put him in there? " I told him he goes in there on his own...usually while the dog is in there. He looks a Ug Bug and says "Wanna go in the cage little guy?" Ug runs up to him with the biggest smile, rests his hand on his leg, tilts his head and smiles again. The, he hits him and runs away. Seconds later he is laying on the floor rolling around hiding his face.
I love this kid. He's my clone.
I go in for another blood test on Saturday to see is it's my thyroid or if I'm just finally transitioning into a superior life form. (I'm sure that causes sleepiness and sleeplessness...) Meanwhile, I'm Ugga Buggin' it. Forgive me if the posts aren't as frequent for a little bit.
Also, bloggers.... Check out Canopi.me. It's a new site that is trying to be to bloggers what Amazon is to shoppers... Or Pintrest is to crack head crafters. It's neat. they've syndicated me so you can find me there. It's a cool idea and it get's your work out there.
Since I had Bugga, I've been sluggish. losing hair and of course, my mind. Him is just the cutest and cuddliest little critter, but man did he take his toll on me. Apparently to produce that much cute is an exhausting effort. No wonder there aren;t more cute kids... moms just aren't up to it.
"So... on a scale of 1 to diabetic shock, how cute do you want your kid to be? Keep in mind that the cuter the baby, the longer the effects on your body..."
"I'll settle for a 5...wait, no. A 7."
You're welcome, Ugga Bugga. Your momma said let's put it at 11.
I have days lately where I want to set fire to everyone around me and put them out with a fork. The only person I don't snap at is Ugg Bugg. He's just to freaking cute. The little jerk KNOWS when I am nearing the edge and instinctively does something adorable. He will randomly break out into Gangnam Style singing the only parts he knows: "AAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY....... uh, uh, uh, uh...."
But I wanted to just share with you a few adorable things he does that makes whatever I am going through health wise worth it. The kid is hysterical.
Here's a visual:
Well, kinda. Gotta clicky this linky
Yesterday a good friend stopped by with is sister. Uggs likes to run around the house giving coy smiles and pretending how shy he is. I mean seriously coy... like hide my face and peek out with a dazzling smile coy. So my friend looks at the dog's crate and says "Why don't you just put him in there? " I told him he goes in there on his own...usually while the dog is in there. He looks a Ug Bug and says "Wanna go in the cage little guy?" Ug runs up to him with the biggest smile, rests his hand on his leg, tilts his head and smiles again. The, he hits him and runs away. Seconds later he is laying on the floor rolling around hiding his face.
I love this kid. He's my clone.
I go in for another blood test on Saturday to see is it's my thyroid or if I'm just finally transitioning into a superior life form. (I'm sure that causes sleepiness and sleeplessness...) Meanwhile, I'm Ugga Buggin' it. Forgive me if the posts aren't as frequent for a little bit.
Also, bloggers.... Check out Canopi.me. It's a new site that is trying to be to bloggers what Amazon is to shoppers... Or Pintrest is to crack head crafters. It's neat. they've syndicated me so you can find me there. It's a cool idea and it get's your work out there.
Let me leave you with this, my loves....
Just because.
The boy and his Dog...
Wanted: Cutest Little Con Artist on the Planet and His Dog
Seriously.
Watch out.
The boy and his dog have formed an alliance based on food. I'm not talking about the normal dog hovering around by the food-dispensing baby deal... I mean a full out alliance.
On a typical day, I get home from work and immediately start cooking dinner with my little assistant Bugga. This is usually just prior to the Momma and Bugga concert series we are currently holding. (We pick songs on On Demand and sing them together.) Just afterwards we feed Laney the obese Labrador.
Bugg will hustle across the living room with one of those toddlery wobble runs where it appears his legs have been asleep for a few hours but he's gotta go. He'll immediately drop into a yoga style squat that a human over 14 can never do again without substantial effort and start to grab, one by one, kibble after kibble out of Laney's bowl. There are three different patterns to his madness:
1. Make it rain in Dis Bitch - This is where Bugga takes a handful of kibble and throws it in the air laughing like a mad man. The dog then scrambles around to collect all the discarded goodness.
2. It's Gettin Hot in Hurr - In this pattern, Buggs shoves individual kibbles into the heating vents next to the front door delighting in his ability to squeeze the bastards somewhere we'll not likely be able to retrieve them from.
3. Take it, Bitch - Here Bugga will run across the room and shove bits of kibble into my mouth laughing because he knows it tastes like shit.
The Dog hates kids, Well, most kids. Bugga is her dude. Her willingness to let him in her food bowl is the biggest testimony to how much she loves the little con artist.
Now, on the other side is the obvious. When Bugg eats in his chair, Laney is there poised and waiting for any misplaced morsel to fall to the ground. My little comedian likes to put on a little show. After he takes a few bits with his big boy fork, making cute NOM NOM NOM sounds, he will stop dead and change his expression to one of complete calmness. He will lock eyes with me and then WHIP a handful of food at the floor, mentally screaming "BECAUSE FUCK YOU, THAT'S WHY!"
('cept for when you point a camera. He has a smile reflex)
Now that you are well familiarized with the goofy relationship Dog and Bugga have, let me share with you a story....
I brought home some delicious Somoa Girl Scout cookies the other day and immediately handed one to Bug and middle Child. Bugg kept saying "mow! mow!" I told him no and Middle Child put the box up so Bugg couldn't get to them. We were gone for NO MORE than 30 seconds and upon our return, found Laney with a box of GS cookies on her head, and Bugg with a Samoa in each hand, looking smug.
Let's take a step back and look at this whole thing and point out the magic...
1. Dogs Do Not Gently Help Themselves To Table Stuffs - They rip them down, shred them and ingest them.
2. Dogs Typically Do Not Go After Things That Do Not Have a Strong Smell - Steak, Chicken, garbage... sure. But GSC are virtually scentless... like a Chips A'Hoy
Here is what I think happened here... Bugg walked up to Laney and said (in whatever magical language that small children and animals share) "Look, Dog... We both know she isn't going to give you any of those delightfully delicious cookies, because she's a bitch. She won't give me any more either. Why don't we see what we can get accomplished... I can't reach that box, but I bet you can...."
The end result being Laney jumping on the counter, retrieving that cookies and presenting two to Bugga before digesting the other 10.
I now think that every time they run around the house together they are planning and scheming. No snack is safe... Between Bugg's highly developed human brain and Laney's height (not to mention their secret language...) We are all doomed.