A Boy and His Boobs

Yesterday Middle-Son and I embarked on an adventure with a friend of mine. Initially, we just set out to go to Wal-Mart, but anytime the three of us get together, there is usually an adventure.

After running a few errands, we went to the Tilted Kilt for lunch. Woman or not, I walk in the door and feel like a racist, because they all look the same to me. Of course, My eyes never get above their shoulders. We sat for about 10 minutes and this Blonde girl who looks like Janis from the Muppets comes to our table and takes our order.

Well, that's it. It's all she did. We never really saw her again. Eventually we complained when our food came out before our sodas did. The food that came was only half right anyway. Our meal was deemed free... Of course, this is not where the Funneh lay.

Blondie comes back and looks at Middle-Child and says, "Awww, sweetie. I'm really sorry your food came out wrong. It was totally my fault. I entered the wrong thing into the computer. Hee hee!"

Middle-Boy just kind of blinked a few times an then looked at me. I shrugged. When she walked away he said to me..."Of course it was her fault. The alternative being what, that it was MY fault she entered it wrong into the computer? Seriously. What the hell is wrong with her???"

 Another waitress came by to take over and Middle-Boy swears he's seen her before somewhere. I had to tell him that all TK girls look the same. Let's be honest, did you even notice what color her eyes were? he replies." uh, Double D?"

Then we went to Wal-mart. I fucking hate that place. First, way to make me feel uncomfortable instantly by having some severely disfigured guy greet me at the door and try to engage in conversation. Why do they do this? Aren't you taking your job a little far? Just wiggle your fingers in a wave and go bugger off. I certainly did not come to Wal-mart  seeking intellectual conversation. You're lucky I put on pants.

Then, the nice lady in the fitting room asked me to follow her...into the men's fitting room... when I asked if I could try something on. I mention this to her and she shrugs. Ok then. Unfortunately, pants were tried on without incident.

I'm pretty sure Wal-mart is the grossest place on earth. I think I saw Honey Boo-Boo's Momma eat a box of Spice Girls. She was standing next to a woman who had the blackest, thickest, drawn on eyebrows I've ever seen. Her face was whiter than white. WTF???? Do people even look in mirrors anymore? the more disturbing thing is that people actually put some effort into looking like that. I mean, the Sharpie doesn't scribble all over her face by itself.

Ugga Bugga's Dad has decided that from here on out, he is not going to grow any facial hair. He's just going to draw on a different 'stache everyday with a Sharpie. Why should girls be the only ones to do this? I will be posting pics as soon as I convince him that it's the best idea he's ever had...