...And We Keep Movin' On.

After lots of consideration, I decided the best thing to do was to move out...and move on.

Because of who I am, I decided at the last minute when we were leaving and even worse - to pack. I spent my final night in Chicago saying my goodbyes. After 40 years of relationships and roots, the only people I had any desire to say goodbye to were my old boss and co-workers at the job I lost back in August. I grabbed my newly 21-year-old son and went to sit at the bar there for a bit and reminisce. It was awesome.

I got home before 11pm and took a tiny nap only to wake at 2 am to finish backing all I could fit into 4 suitcases and 2 carryon bags to take with us, leaving the other important things behind for my son to put in storage until a date undetermined. At 5 am we hit the road to the Greyhound bus station to take a 9-hour bus ride to Minneapolis, MN.

Jax was amazing for the long ride - I expected him to get cranky and restless but he did great. We laughed and talked a lot, truly enjoying the trip. It wasn't until 4:30 pm that we finally reached our destination and got off the bus to collect our bags.

When we got there, Jax's dad picked us up. This was the first time we had seen each other in a year. We spoke at length on the phone prior to the trip to work out the details and specifics. Needless to say, we were both uncertain about how things would go. 

We were together for 7 years and saw each other at our absolute lowest. It got so bad after a while that we couldn't even speak. Awful things were done to one another - hearts and trust were broken badly. But despite the crazy-making, there was always something there -something each of us carried independently in our hearts, refusing to let go.

It was a very emotionally charged 48 hours that followed. I was absolutely shocked by how well things were going. I still kinda am. It's been great.

Remember how I said in a previous blog that the universe gives you hints to guide you into change? Well, if you don't get those hits and refuse to follow the path, it will rock your world and force that change into motion. I am certain that was what happened.

Within 3 days I had a job - I couldn't find one to save my life in Chicago. Everything started falling into place. It seems life is easier when you stop fighting yourself.

Jaxon will be spending Christmas with his dad's side of the family for the first time in years - a family who, by the way, took me back with open arms. I'm happy. Crazy, right?

In the next blog, I'll be discussing the transition pains and the process of repairing a broken marriage. Just because you love someone doesn't mean it's easy. In fact, sometimes it doesn't even mean you should be with them.  But it's been a helluva ride since July.

"Of all the sad things I have ever heard, 'I used to be happy' is the most heartbreaking of all."
-Nikita Gill

I don't want to hear those words come out of my mouth ever again.